Family Stories: Gail, Jerry & Libby Tullman

At Traditional Congregation You’re Never “Just” Somebody

Gail and Jerry Tullman attended a Traditional Congregation membership party in 1975 (“It was a Jewish affair: no beer and only diet soda,” Gail recalls), and they were hooked in one afternoon.  They were struck by the easy-going attitude of the families they met, and when they attended Shabbat services the following weekend, they instantly found a congregation that was not only friendly: they found one that was user-friendly too.  “I was struck by the involvement of the congregation in the service,” Jerry noted.  “Not only did lay adults help run the service, but kids participated too, both before and after their bar-mitzvahs.”

This role that children play resonates with Gail today.  “Too often I hear from friends in the community how frustrating synagogue life can be at times as one bar or bat mitzvah follows another, week after week. My friends sometimes feel marginalized at their own synagogues.  Here, though, it’s never some kid’s bat-mitzvah: it’s Zoe’s bat-mitzvah or Jeremy’s bar-mitzvah. We watch these kids grow up; all these children feel like our own kids.”

Jerry chimed in: “It all comes down to size.  Because we’re not immensely huge, people get to know each other really well.  That’s what makes newcomers comfortable when they come to visit. After a week or two, they get to know a lot of us pretty well.  It’s really hard to be anonymous at Traditional; here you’re never just somebody.”

Even though the Tullmans relish watching dozens of kids celebrate lifecycle events, their most recent pleasant experience has nothing to do with a child.  Actually, it deals with Jerry’s mother Libby.  Jerry explains: “My mom hadn’t been connected to a synagogue for years, but she came a few times with Gail and me, and before you know it, she applied for membership, joining Traditional at age 95.  That shows you’re never too old to join.”