Family Stories: Marci & Marty Boyer & Family

Good Jewish People; Good Jewish Values

Marci and Marty Boyer had a problem.  She grew up in a reform household, while his background was orthodox.  So for years they remained confounded and unaffiliated.  However when Marty’s mother passed away last fall, the perils of unaffiliation struck home: who would help organize the shiva?  The Boyers were in luck, however.  Marty had played with the Traditional softball team that summer, and the second the congregation heard of Marty’s distress, minyan was organized for morning and evening.

“More than just the men showing up,” Marci recalls, “it was the women too.  I was so moved that they came.  I knew some of them through Solomon Schechter Day School but not many of them.  By the end of the week I did though.”  As her eyes well up she says, “And the rabbi, very quietly approached me, and asked me about my mourning, about my children’s pain. He understood so well that I lost a mother-in-law that I loved and my babies lost their grandmother.”

Marty added: “Not one person brought up membership during the shiva or after.”  Summing up her memories of the experience, Marci said “These were just good Jewish people practicing good Jewish values.”  Without much fanfare, they took in a few Shabbat services at Traditional and decided to join.

In the past year, they’ve found that despite their divergent backgrounds, Traditional affords them space.  The service reminds Marty of what he grew up in.  And for Marci the warmth of a small community gets to her every time.  “Everyone here knows your name.  They’re respectful about my background, and they sincerely care about my well-being.  We’ve certainly found a place where we can grow at our pace.”  Marty concurs: “I’m struck by the range of backgrounds of other members.  There’s almost something for everyone here.”